I would kill for a pizza

For the past year, I've been having some minor digestion issues that I finally asked the doctor just before my insurance ran out thanks to turning 25. After running a few tests, everything was declared "normal"--no food allergies, no intolerances other than the horrible lactose intolerance that began this whole food battle, no parasites, no nothing. So if everything is so "normal," why isn't everything normal?

So now that I have no insurance, I've taken things into my own hands. Thanks to Google, I discovered an absurdly comprehensive elimination diet, which allows me to eat nothing but fish and rabbit food for a month before I begin adding human food back into my diet. This is what I've been eating since Saturday:

The white lump is fish, and the green lump is avocado.

It's not all bad. I like fruits and veggies and fish, and I like that I haven't felt sick every time I eat, and there's a chance that I might lose my love handles this month, but I could really go for a nice juicy burger and a butt load of fries. I seriously think I'm going through grease withdrawals.

According to the doctor who invented this diet, I could potentially become less sensitive to certain foods by the time I figure out what it is I'm sensitive to, so I'm hoping, while keeping my feet securely planted on solid ground, that by the end of the month my digestive system will just reset itself, and I'll be able to eat again. And if that's the case, I'm eating an entire pizza by myself to celebrate.